SFO UFO'S

I'm a 22 year old hot woman, bright and socially well adjusted. Have my shit together--full time job, plenty of friends, clean apartment with good roommates, etc. I'm looking for a similarly together man for the following type of relationship: I work early, so we'll go to bed early on the nights you stay at my place (which will be more than I stay at yours since I doubt you'll be as clean or as frequent a sheet washer). We'll spend a lot of time smoking pot and watching shitty TV or doing low key activities like reading or crossword puzzles with a bottle of wine. Occassionally, we will go to a bar for a couple of drinks with friends, catch a movie, or you might like to surprise me and we'll try a new restaurant...or an old favorite. Doesn't matter. Some nights I will cook, ususally veggie heavy rabbit food that you don't really want, but you'll eat because it's made for you. I'll surprise you occassionally with steak, which you like and I don't, or a tee shirt that reminded me of you or a CD I thought you might like. We'll work out separately and in spurts that alternate between regular and lazy. Sometimes we'll do outdoor activities together on the weekends--bike rides, kayaking, camping--but more often than not we'll just talk about how it would be a good idea and not follow through. Though I'm fully capable, you'll probably start assuming responsibilities like taking out my trash (after a good amount of time, obviously), putting together my IKEA furniture and handling anything that requires steady-handed drilling, nailing, etc. I will think this is absolutely adorable, and I'll try to do helpful things as well for you like reminding you of mother's day a week before the date or getting food and beers together for you to watch "the game" with "the boys." Actually, I'll probably consider the two aforementioned options, deem them needy and annoying and clinging, and settle for giving you a blow job. I hope you don't mind. I’ll have sex with you even when I’m tired and you’ll appreciate that. Every once in a while I’ll probably get influenced by one of those awful women’s magazines like Cosmo, and I’ll try to set the alarm for the middle of the night for sex or touch you in weird places they claim are “ultimate male g-spots,” and this will usually turn out to be more funny than sexy. Sometimes, on the weekends, I'll get excited that I don't have to get up early the next day, and I'll drink too much. If I'm out with you, you might embarrassingly have to bring me home. Or, I'll call you a thousand times until you pick up and let me come over or meet me at my place. I'll probably say something drunk along the lines of "I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you," or "I didn't mean to get this attached." For you to be a right fit, this shouldn't freak you out too much. I'm looking for a guy that can keep my drunk self from getting too worked up or hysterical and respect that the next morning I either won't remember what I said or I'll appologize for being sloppy. We can both make fun of me the next day when this happens. But you can’t make fun of me for having bad, sloppy sex. I'm pretty likable and confident that you're family will like me just enough to hope we get married when we're together and have deep, retrospective reservations about our relationship post break-up. After a period of time, I anticipate my roommates or yours will start making passive comments about an "extra person" living in the apartment, and one or both of our parents may make alarming comments about marraige, etc. We probably won't address this, but will do something stupid to sabatoge the relationship. You'll become standoffish and I'll react by being clingy and the tension will rise until I end up crying outside a bar and pulling on your arm as you get in a cab. Or, maybe I'll make plans for a major life change--say moving across country or buying a condo (who knows, right?)--without consulting you and you'll break up with me through the classic fifth grade combination of ignoring me and trusting that it'll get back to me through mutual friends. I'll be briefly but intensely upset; I don't know how you'll handle your grief. After a period of time in which I'll probably date some ridiculous characters and make ridiculous proclamations about how much I hate men and love, and how I'll die alone and sad, we'll run into each other (mutual friend's wedding, etc.). I'll be stressed about this meeting, but we'll probably have a good conversation. At least, I hope we'll be able to be friends, and I think we will...until we get married, that is, at which time our respective spouses will feel uncomfortable and end our friendship. But we'll think of one another fondly, nonetheless. If this sounds good to you, drop me a line with a picture. We can get coffee or drinks or pretend to meet in a supermarket over awkward conversation about bread pricing or something. Whatever works for you.