Semper Temper

As I sit here I am still shaking. I can't take much more of this shit. I am a Marine Pilot. Not that it means anything anymore. Today was another safety stand down put on by the mother fuckers in DOSS. Why? Cause another one of my friends is dead and gone. Why? Cause he flew his shit into the water that's why. Why'd he do that? Cause the mother fuckers that "be" i.e. the boys at the top have lost their fucking minds and can't say no. "Sir the aircraft are at 13% readiness, we don't have anything up." "That's not my problem, we got a FRAG, get it done." "Sir, none of our pilots are current to do this." "Currency? Currency is for pussies. Just do some pattern work before you go, you'll be fine." "Sir, the maintainers have been working non-stop 12 on 12 off for weeks now, we can't keep this pace up? "Rest, Marines don't need rest, they are tough. Tell them to drink some coffee and get these planes up." "Sir, I've been in the tube for the last 10 hours, the weather was shit, and I haven't seen my wife in 2 weeks, can I work on this tomorrow?" "No, I am going on leave Captain, I need that power point done by tomorrow, oh wait your on the schedule. Well, I guess you better get working." "Sir I don't have the crew rest to fly this." "Crew rest? What's crew rest. Your day doesn't start until the engines do, never mind that I had you in here this morning doing mindless bullshit." I hate you Marine Corps. I hate you. You push us and push us and ask us to do more. But there is no more. You can take your $18,000 dollar bonus and shove it up your ass! I am not staying. I am not flying this shit anymore. I am not going to go and break the rules for you anymore. Iam not going to turn motors when I know the maint. log books aren't worth the paper they are written on. I am not doing your fucking log run in this weather when you can't even get me the bare minimum flight time to keep my skills up. I am not going to anymore safety stand downs about leadership and seatbelt use. I am not going to listen to another fucking Major who has lost his soul and cares more about the taste of his coffee in the morning than if his people had time to even eat chow today. I will not do this. I will not get another phone call about a friend of mine who is now dead, because you bend the rules to make mission, because you can't say NO to anyone. We are broke damn it. We don't have the people, we don't have the parts. Hell, what kind of fucking military organization has the commanding officer tell his officers they need to go out and buy toilet paper for the head because we ran out? Fuck this. I am out. Berger, you were the best man, you shouldn't have died like that. Kerns, you were a funny dude. I am sorry I couldn’t see you buried, or have the courage to write your Mom and Dad about what nice guy you were. Murphy, why would you sign up for that shit! Your kids will never get to know what an awesome guy you were. I am in tears I am so frustrated. I wish you were still around, but I won't die like you. I won’t be some number on CNN's death 'o meter. I won’t contribute to this madness of telling the Wing we can do it when we are so far on our ass we can’t see the light of day. You Generals are fucking cowards. You know it’s broke, but you won’t say no will you. I did my part, and that's all I can do. Fuck you Marine Corps. I am not the only one that feels this way. Let's see where your retention is when the planes are so broke dick nobody can fly them, no matter how many rules you break to keep them up. Fuck You!